The Siblings Skywalker

I was watching Star Wars the other day (the first one), and as the credits began to roll and that familiar music played, I couldn't help but wonder:

Is there any way Luke didn't nail Leia after she gave him the medal?

Incest aside, take a closer look. According to the information I was able to gather in the Nerdiverse, both Luke and Leia were 19 years old at the time the first film ended.

You're telling me that two sexually repressed 19-year-olds who just came mere seconds from death together aren't humping like rabbits the second they get a minute alone?

Take a look at how she looks at Luke, compared to how she looks at Han.



She wants some Jedi lightsaber. And not the weapon. The phallus. Of Luke. If you know what I mean...

You've got the farm-boy who's spent his life dreaming of getting off of the desert planet (where, you'll notice, there isn't a stitch of pussy, not even at Mos Eisley Spaceport), and a sexually repressed princess, forced to be mature beyond her years, who also just happened to watch her entire planet explode.

They were doing the no-pants dance as soon as the assembly hall cleared out.

Think about it. In a bar, you can ostensibly get a woman to sleep with you if you bum her a smoke and toss out a clever zinger or two.

And if you happen to:

• Oh, I don't know, RESCUE HER FROM THE FUCKING DEATH STAR, a space station that is filled with the bad guys who are ready to execute you at a moment's notice.
• And not only do you get her out of that hell-hole, but you actually DESTROY that thing, mere seconds before it obliterated the very planet you stand on, not to mention the cause to which you've dedicated your entire life for.
  
• Oh, and to boot, you destroyed the Death Star in a badass manner, without using a targeting computer like a pussy.
  

Hell, I'd sleep with Luke if he did that to me.

Take a look at Luke after this.



He's thinking, "Yeah, and she fucks like a minx too. I've hit it. Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm going to re-enact that amazing blow job she gave me."

Sorry Han Solo, no matter how much it seemed like Leia began to overlook your rough and cocky exterior and turn you from an anti-hero into a hero, you're just getting Luke's sloppy seconds.