Friday Hate: 5/8

Back with another edition of Friday Hate! I know it's been a lonely few weeks, but I've been around the world and back again (okay, only to Texas), so I haven't had much time to update.

But I'm back with a fresh slab of Friday Hate for ye.

I enjoy Dos Equis. It's a step above Corona in my opinion, but not quite as good as Pacifico. What I don't enjoy is their latest ad campaign, "The Most Interesting Man in the World."

First of all, it's clearly a blatant rip-off of the whole Chuck Norris joke thing, and that stopped being funny two years ago.

But it's a good concept, except for one thing: HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE UP A FUCKING NAME?

I mean, seriously. They probably spent millions on this ad campaign, and it comes off like at the last minute, they had their whole story down, and just didn't feel like coming up with a name.

How about, Don Diego, the most interesting man in the world. How about Sergio De Fiere? How about Inigo Montoya? Wait, I think that's taken.

Still, you can't go the extra three feet to the finish line and come up with an exotic sounding name? I came up with two in 30 seconds, and I don't even get paid for this shit.

With the extent they're going all out with this, I find it lazy and insulting that they don't come up with a name for this fucker.

Speaking of the extent they've gone with this guy, I lost a lot of respect when the ads migrated from radio to television.

On the radio, you hear his gravelly, slightly accented voice, and someone like Antonio Banderas comes to mind. A smooth, young latin man that gets the panties dropping.

Then I started seeing this mug on my television:



Who is this old fucker?

It doesn't necessarily have to be some young stud with washboard abs whose half naked all the time, but this dude isn't interesting at all. In fact, I'd be surprised if he could still BM regularly.

And they try to sell him like a James Bond rip off, hanging with mustachioed Fez-wearing people, riding a rubber dinghy with beautiful women and playing jai alai.

All this is supposed to make me forget that this guy probably has a prostate the size of a grapefruit? No thank you.

The last thing that makes me really hate this guy is the quote he uses, "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis."

Great salesmanship guys. He doesn't only drink Dos Equis, he just prefers it. If there's a Keyston Light in there, he might drink that as well.

Also, way to start out you catchphrase with, "I don't always drink beer," it's not like you're SELLING BEER! Idiots.

Luckily for the folks at Dos Equis, Corona has taken their image a step deeper in the shit with that stupid contrived Kenny Chesney commercial.

He's sitting by himself singing, while everyone else is chasing trim, like they should be, and we're supposed to believe that he's the guy we should buy beer from.

Mexican beer isn't that great anyways, they sell more bottles because of the image they sell rather than the quality, and if they keep up these shitty commercials, they won't even have that going for them.