Just Another Fail

Speaking of sucking at life, get a load of this one.

I was on my way to work Tuesday, and it was a fantastic morning. The sun was up, it was warm, and I had my sunroof open listening to tunes loudly.

Add that to the fact that I was wearing my new favorite pair of obnoxious sunglasses, and I'm feeling good.

As I pull up to the gate of the base where I work, I'm blasting Pantera's "Domination," which makes me want to run through a fucking brick wall. So I'm fired up, ready to kick ass and take fucking names at work.

I get to the gate, hand the guard my ID card, and he looks at it, looks at me, and hands the card back. As I'm about to pull away, he says, "hey man, you got something on your face."

I look at myself in the rearview mirror, and I get a shock.

For breakfast that morning, I made myself some yogurt with blueberries and granola, and I mixed them up in a solo cup and ate them on the road, as I usually do.

Well, apparently, some yogurt had missed my mouth, and gotten in my beard, around the chin.

So, looking at myself in the mirror, I appeared to have a fresh cumshot across my face.

If that doesn't ruin your day, I don't know what will.

Now do you get why I said "load" at the beginning of this?